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Things That Piss Me Off

Journal Entry: Mon Nov 14, 2011, 11:33 AM
  • Listening to: Cher Lloyd - Swagger Jagger
  • Watching: MoogleFTW's Let's Play of Oblivion
  • Drinking: Coke


1. When people spell things wrong. (e.g. weird is not supposed to be wierd k.)

2. People who talk like they're from another century. Seriously, it's fucking retarded. You're not Victorian or Edwardian get over yourself.

3. Those who write/draw like shit and act like they're mother fucking Lovecraft or Picasso.

4. When people do pointless things for attention because they're whores.

5. When there's a tornado on Rune Factory and it fucks up my cucumber crops.

6. People who are like 'don't call people bad artists/bad writers/etc, they're trying!' well guess what I don't care. They're still shit.

7. You reader. Yes you. You've probably pissed me off, even if I haven't met you before.

8. RPs that involve me having to write like I'm writing a story. Script plz. If I wanted to write a literature novel I'd be working on it instead of roleplaying.

9. Female OCs and Female CCs. Females in general. I'm a sexist female against females. And what.

10. Really boring roleplays. If I never reply back to you 90% chance is because the story progress is really shit and you're boring me or your character is really boring. 10% chance is because I'm roleplaying with someone that I actually enjoy roleplaying with and I don't have to change my style up or whatever.

11. Other things I don't feel like listing because I want to continue Rune Factory 3 now.

The Shittiest Week Ever

Journal Entry: Sat Nov 12, 2011, 9:42 AM
  • Watching: ChaoticMonki's Amnesia Custom Map Let's Plays
  • Eating: Chicken Nuggets
  • Drinking: Ribena



This weeks been shitty like you wouldn't believe.

I was physically bullied early this week on Tuesday (I had people throwing stuff at me, calling me names, poking me with sticks and such) and even that alone was stressful and upsetting enough.

On Wednesday I found my boyfriend had been in a car accident, although he's okay it was still scary and I've been worrying about him all week. Then on Thursday morning I found out my uncle had been brutally beaten to a pulp while on holiday in America with his husband and had been sexually assulted, to put it in a less crude term.

My new friends have been in quarrells and I've been lost in between it all and I've managed to piss off more than enough people because of how shitty everything is at the moment. All I want to do is curl up and write but I'm suffering from a major writers block and have been for the last two months.

I'm going to be working on my app for pearls of paradise now soo...yeah. It won't be uploaded here though so don't expect to see the finished project.

Design and CSS by: SweetSuicideKagome

After Much Delibration

Journal Entry: Sun Nov 6, 2011, 9:51 AM
  • Listening to: Akon - Sorry, Blame It On Me
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: My friendships die



I've decided to keep this account open for roleplay purposes only AND for the fact I need dA muro to draw.

There will be hardly an updates on this account apart from journals, meaning there won't be art submissions or anything.

If you ask for my new account, I'm going to tell you no. The only person who WILL know the name of it is xXTsuna27Xx and possibly :devschznyk:.

My groups will remain open and I'll remain a part of them. The ONLY art submissions you will see regarding that factor are blank templates for those groups and possibly my own submissions.

Please bare in mind that the reason I'm NOT telling anyone apart from the two people above is because I don't want drama following me and stuff. Sure it's all over but please respect my wishes and don't pester me for it. If you find me, good for you.

So yeah. Sorry and all that.

Design and CSS by: SweetSuicideKagome

Update

Journal Entry: Wed Nov 2, 2011, 12:34 PM
  • Listening to: Akon - Sorry, Blame It On Me
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: My friendships die



Listen to this as you read it if you can/want.

So basically this last week has been shit and yesterday, November 1st, was probably the shittest so far.

Of course I have thought over the whole I'm going to deactivate my account thing and granted the only reason I'm not going to is because I used dAmuro to draw and if I deleted my account I'd lose my drawing software and I have a few groups I want and need to keep open because I don't want to let my members down. Other than that I don't think I'll be using this account much anymore, I'll be getting myself a new account. Please don't ask what it'll be either - I'm not going to tell any of you and I have my reasons as I'm going to state below.

The first reason is drama and this journal is going to cause a lot of it when people read it.

I feel like a horrible person and it was one of Derren Brown's shows called Remote Control that showed me how horrible people can get when they gang up on others and turn on them. They lose their individuality and ever since I've gotten involved in this drama I feel the need to have to bitch and act like someone I'm not just to please these people and now I feel two faced because of the guilt trip that was put on me.

Let me get this clear - I don't care if some of you hate me for writing what I do in this journal, because I'm sick and fucking tired of how long it's gone on for. I don't care if it's not my business to tell or not but you've all mde it my business by getting me involed. I'm a human being like all of you, and I have a stress limit of how much shit I can handle like all of you.

Firstly Sam, I don't know what I think about you anymore because of all the drama I've been pulled into. Yes I've bitched about you to Rara and Isy and Zee and Kuma but guess what, at least unlike some of your 'friends' I'm admitting it. And I'm sorry. Yes I've said some nasty things about you and yes I know this is going to break a lot of your trust for me but I've made my decision, and I want to apologize. You don't have to forgive me for agreeing that I thought you were an art thief, or that all you ever care about is roleplay. I had no right to fully believe it since I never went to you and asked for your side of everything. I'm the one who deserves all blame here, I was the one helping to make you out to be a bitch when really I was being one myself.

I've been a mixture of angry at myself and in a state of disbelief and scared. I've been angry at myself because I couldn't find it in me to not believe what was being told to me and angry at you for not telling me the apparant full truth. Disbelief because although we've had our disagreements from time to time, I couldn't believe mostly everything. And scared because I felt like I couldn't be your friend because I was so scared to the point where I even broke up our first ever pairing together because I didn't know who to trust. Call this ass licking but from everything that was fed to me and told to me, I felt too scared to be as close as we were until I knew the truth.

I broke our promise. Do you remember it? I promised you no matter what you'll still be my best bro no matter what Rara told me, no matter how close she and I got. I'm sorry I broke that promise.

It's taking me a while to write this because I'm trying to figure out if I want to be selfish or no. Selfish as to do I want to keep my friends I've made, or unselfish and let people know the truth. I'm not a liar and I don't want to lie just to keep friends. Please, when some of you read this, keep this in mind when I write this.

I'm an awful person, but I refuse to be the one thing I hate, a liar.

People have been pretending to be your friend Sam because they don't want to cause any arguments or whatever. I forgot what the reason is but that's the jist of it. They're never going to have a pairing with you either, stop hurting yoursef by trying.

And the final bit that's distanced me from you the most is that I've been led to believe you're Isy or Isy is you. I don't know what way around and I don't know if it's even true. It's not me who came up with this, but deep down after taking a few steps back from everyone these last few days - Rara I don't believe it. I can't. I know I thought I did but do you really believe it either? Look at the way you act with Isy. Yes their styles are sort of similar but I've looked on this matter WITHOUT people telling me one thing and then another and I don't believe it.

If it's true, I'm the fool, but after thinking long and hard on this I can't think of them as the same person. If you are, then just say and if you're not, I'm sorry for ever thinking you were.

This leads into you Isy. Last night I was a bit too crude to you but you caught me at a bad time. I was in fits of tears and the last thing I wanted to talk about was roleplay or anything to do with it. You know I was fine with you until a while back and you and I both know I suddenly started acting different, it's because of what Rara suggested and I stupidly agreed and vigirously tried to find evidence to prove you and Sam were the same person.

After you told me about your past though, that's when I began disbelieving this. I shouldn't have made you tell me about your life for the reason I did and it was to try and see if there were loop holes in your story so I could find evidence you were Sam or vice versa. What a friend I am, doing that to you. You've never done anything like that to me and I've been able to see after not interracting with anyone on dA but Zee and Kuma for the last few days that I was wrong to do this. I was wrong to believe any of it.

Which brings me onto you, Rara.

I guess I just desperately wanted to be your friend so much I fooled myself into believing every word you said. I did everything I could to make sure you would never stop befriending me. I changed the way I roleplayed for you, spent more time on dA for you, turned against one of my best friends for you. I became a two faced bitch just because I thought it'd make you happy. I listened to you rant and rave about Sam for you because you didn't want to stress out your closer friends.

I think what triggered this all was you freaking out about that picture I drew. I deleted my own deviation just to please you. I think that was my wake up call - since when did I do ANYTHING to please ANYONE. Since when did I, the most independant thinker I know, listen to what other people say and not stand up for what she believes in and does what other people tell her to do. I, the only rationalist in a philosophy class full of empiricists who does NOT let their arguments and beliefs sway hers.

I am a person who makes up her own mind. In philosophy every week I have to argue alone against a class full of people because I firmly believe in what I do and I do not let any of them sway me. Why should I let what you believe and want me to do be what I have to believe and do? It shouldn't and I'm a fucking idiot for basically being a puppet.

All of you who keep have this conspiricy against Sam and Isy or who are still lying to Sam or Isy - why don't you tell them your side too. Why don't you all stop being cowards and stressing each other out, man the fuck up and get it over and done with. Why is it that I'm the one apologizing first when it wasn't me who started it to begin with?

Enough is enough.

Until you finally all have it out with one another and decide whether or not you're going to completely take blame, as Akon rightly says, you can put the blame on me.

I don't care if this loses me friends, I'm just apologizing for being an idiot, a fool, and a bitch.

But I am no liar.

All those involved take this as you will, hate me all you want, but this is me completely dejecting myself from all of this.

It's up to those involved if you want to deject yourselves from me or not, and I won't blame you if you do.

Design and CSS by: SweetSuicideKagome

A Letter a Day

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 19, 2011, 12:33 PM
Hey Guys,
This is a letter meme I found from someone, so I took the idea and make it more personal and longer - really you're meant to do one a day but if you want to do a bulk in one go that's fine too. I just thought this may be a good thing to do for those who fine they want to get things off your chest. You can do it in a journal or you can do it in literature format or you don't even have to do it at all. I personally find this more beneficial than 'daily confessions' :3 so who wants to do this with me? 8D

Day One: A Letter to Yourself
Day Two: A Letter to Your Parents
Day Three: A Letter to Your Best Friend
Day Four: A Letter to a Secret Person
Day Five: A Letter to Your Crush/Partner
Day Six: A Letter to Someone Who Needs Support
Day Seven: A Letter to a Stranger
Day Eight: A Letter to a Relative
Day Nine: A Letter to Your Enemy
Day Ten: A Letter to a Desceased Person
Day Eleven: A Letter to a Game Character
Day Twelve: A Letter to Your Favourite OC
Day Thirteen: A Letter for The Past
Day Fourteen: A Letter for The Future
Day Fiffteen: A Letter to God
Day Sixteen: A Letter to Someone You Want to Forgive
Day Seventeen: A Letter to Someone You Want to Forget
Day Eighteen: A Letter to a Lost Friend
Day Nineteen: A Letter to Your Dreams
Day Twenty: A Letter to Life
Day Twenty-One: A Letter to Death
Day Twenty-Two: A Letter to Someone Who Inspires You
Day Twenty-Three: A Letter to Someone You Love
Day Twenty-Four: A Letter to Someone You Hate
Day Twenty-Five: A Letter of Something You Never Got To Say
Day Twenty-Six: A Letter to a Pet
Day Twenty-Seven: A Letter to Your Thoughts
Day Twenty-Eight: A Leter to a Teacher
Day Twenty-Nine: A Letter to Your Ex
Day Thirty: A Letter to Someone You Want to Meet
Day Thirty-One: A Letter to Someone Who Changed Your Life
Day Thirty-Two: A Letter to Apologize
Day Thirty-Three: A Letter to Someone Who Annoys You
Day Thirty-Four: A Letter to Your Shadow
Day Thirty-Five: A Letter to Your Male/Female Self
Day Thirty-Six: A Letter to the Person You Wish You Could Be
Day Thirty-Seven: A Letter to the Person You Never Want to Be
Day Thirty-Eight: A Letter to Someone From Another Country
Day Thirty-Nine: A Letter to Someone Who Looks Up To You
Day Forty: A Letter for Your Future Spouse
Day Forty-One: A Letter for Your Children
Day Forty-Two: A Letter for You to Read In the Future
Day Forty-Three: A Letter about Your Day
Day Forty-Four: A Letter to the Government
Day Forty-Five: A Letter to Religion
Day Forty-Six: A Letter to Science
Day Forty-Seven A Letter to Someone Whose Made You Cry the Most
Day Forty-Eight A Letter to Someone You Don't Talk to Anymore
Day Forty-Nine A Letter to Your Hero
Day Fifty A Letter You Never Wanted to Write

Fifty Days, Fifty Letters.
Are you going to do it?

Katekyo Hitman Reborn OC's
:bulletorange: Dante Vongola
:bulletorange: Vincent Vongola
:bulletorange: Naoki Sawada
:bulletorange: Etsuo Sawada
:bulletorange: Himeko Vongola
:bulletorange: Nico Vongola
:bulletorange: Toby Croft
:bulletorange: Ietsuna Sawada
:bulletorange: Elario Vongola
:bulletorange: Eloisa Vongola
:bulletorange: Ichigo Kozato
:bulletorange: Lucas Hibari
:bulletorange: Jasper
:bulletorange: Sophie
:bulletorange: Nicole
:bulletorange: Shou
:bulletorange: Kazuki
:bulletorange: Jin
:bulletorange: Hyaku
:bulletorange: Ame
:bulletorange: Koroshi
:bulletorange: Kouru
:bulletorange: Akito
:bulletorange: Shikyo
:bulletorange: Tsume
:bulletorange: Teito
:bulletorange: Daichi
:bulletorange: Yori
:bulletorange: Yoshi
:bulletorange: Kyoichi
:bulletorange: Tenma
:bulletorange: Tsugaru Vongola
:bulletorange: Naoki Avalon
:bulletorange: Nate Vongola
:bulletorange: Aeon
:bulletorange: Ensis
:bulletorange: Firo
:bulletorange: Nox
:bulletorange: Giorgia
:bulletorange: Hana
:bulletorange: Kintama
:bulletorange: Nori
:bulletorange: Z

A.W.E.S.O.M.E Characters</u>
:bulletgreen: Ellis Harding
:bulletgreen: Allen Von de Graziure
:bulletgreen: Will Takemachi
:bulletgreen: Etahn Fitzgerald
:bulletgreen: Samuel 'Sam' O'Brian
:bulletgreen: Oliver 'Ollie' Parr
:bulletgreen: Matthew 'Matt' Barmore
:bulletgreen: Elena Harding
:bulletgreen: Dr. Takemachi
:bulletgreen: Beth Von de Graziure
:bulletgreen: Elizabeth Von de Graziure
:bulletgreen: Eriene
:bulletgreen: Eric Fitzgerald
:bulletgreen: Sora Takemachi
:bulletgreen: Lillith 'Lilly' Barmore
:bulletgreen: Dylan
:bulletgreen: Chase
:bulletgreen: Terrell

Amaranth Characters</u>
:bulletred: Izuki
:bulletred: Izumi
:bulletred: Kana
:bulletred: Michiru
:bulletred: Tenma
:bulletred: Aki
:bulletred: Kuro
:bulletred: Ace
:bulletred: Shiki
:bulletred: Damien
:bulletred: Cain
:bulletred: Nero
:bulletred: Hina
:bulletred: Ryuu
:bulletred: Raven
:bulletred: Akito
:bulletred: Drago
:bulletred: Eien
:bulletred: Kyouta
:bulletred: Mamoru
:bulletred: Maro
:bulletred: Mizurio
:bulletred: Natsu
:bulletred: Nori
:bulletred: Pegasus
:bulletred: Saki
:bulletred: Mirage
:bulletred: Seimei
:bulletred: Sora
:bulletred: Tomoya
:bulletred: Yuzu
:bulletred: Zaku

Unnamed Roleplay Characters (me and my Kuma call it the Sexy rp =w=)
:bulletpink: Kai
:bulletpink: Akira
:bulletpink: Takumi
:bulletpink: Shiro

Future Roleplay (not a set name for it yet =w=)
:bulletyellow: Agito
:bulletyellow: Aurora
:bulletyellow: Chiaki
:bulletyellow: Emil
:bulletyellow: Jex
:bulletyellow: Kaoru
:bulletyellow: Meiz
:bulletyellow: Rei
:bulletyellow: Ryou
:bulletyellow: Shiori
:bulletyellow: Syrius
:bulletyellow: Uzuki
:bulletyellow: Valentine
:bulletyellow: Yume

Other OC's
:bulletblack:Noah Parker
:bulletblack:Jack Davies


-----


Do I even dare do the pairings? might as well I have OTPs for each roleplay so I'll point them out =w=

Katekyo Hitman Reborn OC's
:bulletorange: Etsuo/Dante
:bulletorange: Naoki/Vincent <<OTP right there
:bulletorange: Toby/Dante
:bulletorange: Kazuki/Etsuo
:bulletorange: Vincent/Sophie
:bulletorange: Dante/Nicole
:bulletorange: Jin/Kazuki
:bulletorange: Koroshi/Ame
:bulletorange: Shikyo/Kouru
:bulletorange: Akito/Teito
:bulletorange: Kyouichi/Yoshi
:bulletorange: Daichi/Yoshi
:bulletorange: Yoshi/Yori
:bulletorange: Tsugaru/Tenma
:bulletorange: Naoki/Nate

A.W.E.S.O.M.E Characters</u>
:bulletgreen: Allen/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Will/Ellis <<Aha...OTP is right here =w= I can't help it
:bulletgreen: Ethan/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Sam/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Ollie/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Matt/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Sam/Ollie
:bulletgreen: Matt/Allen
:bulletgreen: Will/Allen
:bulletgreen: Sora/Ellis
:bulletgreen: Sora/Will
:bulletgreen: Lilly/Ellis

Amaranth Characters</u>
:bulletred: Ace/Izuki <<OTP right there. My OTP of OTPs.
:bulletred: Damien/Izumi
:bulletred: Raven/Izumi
:bulletred: Izuki/Izumi
:bulletred: Tenma/Michi
:bulletred: Cain/Ace
:bulletred: Damien/Seimei
:bulletred: Damien/Ace
:bulletred: Maro/Sora
:bulletred: Mizurio/Izuki
[Bullet; Red] Natsu/Ace

Unnamed Roleplay Characters (me and my Kuma call it the Sexy rp =w=)
Takumi/Kai << This pairing is beautiful...
Akira/Kai
Shiro/Kai

Future Roleplay (not a set name for it yet =w=)
Emil/Ryou <<OTP fucking these two yes. Yes
Kaoru/Ryou
Agito/Uzuki
Meiz/Kaoru
Syrius/Chiaki
Valentine/Emil
Shiori/Ryou

Other OC's
Hakan/Noah